NOFAP

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/4vhgrh/draft_a_complete_beginne…

When you watch porn, you are reinforcing the desires it appeals to. Because of this, watching porn makes you crave porn more. A simple argument is that if you do not need it in your life, why create the desire for it? It is for many a colossal waste of time. The idea is that it would be better to spend your time and energy on things that ‘grow’ your life, rather than on dead-end, fleeting pleasures. A question this raises is whether porn adds anything to your life except a temporary respite from this craving (only to be followed by a strengthened craving). I find that having not watched porn for many years, it does not have nearly the same appeal to me, so it does not appear to me that it does add anything to my life. When you finish to a porn video, don't your feelings immediately switch from excitement to disgust-- like, 'why am I watching this?' ? This suggests to me that the momentary pleasure of pornography is artificially created and sustained by the habit itself.
Following on this line of thinking, porn, by reinforcing certain desires, makes you want things you otherwise wouldn't want, or would want much, much less; and it does so at the expense of other aspects to sexuality. Part of this is because the excitement of porn is primarily about novelty-- think about why you need to keep finding new videos of different acts with different women. This drive for novelty causes you to watch things that you otherwise wouldn’t be attracted to, which subsequently become ‘wired’ into your ‘sexuality’. Many people find that they become attracted to violent, gay, or child porn and it takes an enormous toll on their lives; and after abstaining from pornography, many find that these fetishes lose significant power, or disappear entirely. Another component of this phenomenon is that because porn cannot provide intimacy and does not stimulate appreciation for anything but a sex-object conception of a woman, it changes your perspective to value superficial, novel things more. And because you are not reinforcing other desires surrounding sexuality, you gradually lose your ability to have a more balanced appreciation of sex and women. That's why sex becomes less fulfilling, and eventually guys would rather jerk it to porn than have sex with their partners.
Building on the last point, pornography use affects your interpersonal relations in real life. this training is creating a powerful association between the stimulus of female body and sex act. But the key is that in porn, there's no courtship or conversation or anything that leads up to sex; and there's only sex, nothing else. It's just open the computer and sex. So you come to desire and expect sex and only sex from women, and you lose the desire/ability to appreciate other things about them. So when you're around women in real life, your brain is expecting sex, but it doesn't happen, and so you're left frustrated. And because you have wired yourself to only want/expect sex, there's nothing to do but pretend interest in the hopes of eventual sex. This creates a weird dynamic that leads to frustration and resentment, as well as shyness and awkwardness.