YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN FINLAND TOO LONG WHEN:

1 You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to carbage.



2 As you walk past the Parliament Building in Helsinki and see the statue is titled ¿Svinhuvud¿ you no longer read it as ¿Swinehead¿ ¿ instead you think ¿what a good Swedish name!¿



3 When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:

a) he is drunk

b) he is insane

c) he is an American



4 You don¿t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry



5 A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer ¿Oh, I¿m going to Europe!¿ meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.



6 You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.



7 You see a student taking a font row seat and wonder ¿Who does he think he is!!??¿



8 Silence is fun.



9 The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:

a) duty free vodka

b) duty free bear

c) to party hearty¿ no need to get off the boat in Stockholm, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland



10 You coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.



11 You pass a grocery store and think ¿Wow, it is open, I had better go in and buy something!¿



12 Your native language has seriously detoriated, now you being to ¿eat medicine¿¿ ¿open the television¿¿ ¿close the lights off¿¿ and tell someone ¿you needn¿t to!¿ Expressions like ¿Don¿t panic¿ creep into your everyday language.



13 You associate pea soup with Thursday



14 Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.



15 Your notion of streetlife is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.



16 Your bad mood becomes your good mood.



17 Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel peaceful instead.



18 ¿no comment¿ becomes a conversation strategy.



19 You finally stop asking you class ¿Are there any questions?¿



20 The fact that all of ¿v¿s¿ and the ¿w¿s¿ are together in the phone directory seems right.



21 Your old habit of being ¿Fasionably late¿ is no longer acceptable.



22 Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.



23 You being to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi¿s broadcast of the hockey game.



24 You refuse to wear a hat, even in ¿30 degree weather.



25 You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:

a) they are drunk

b) they are Swedish-speaking

c) they are American

d) all of the above



26 You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.



27 You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.



28 You eat herring in 105 ways.



29 You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example MERI¿¿¿LIITTO OY.



30 You have undergone a transformation:

a) Mustamakkara/ black-blood sausage is food

b) You accept alcohol as food

c) You accept



31 You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense



CAN¿T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN FINLAND...!!!