G: Mitä kappaletta kuuntelit usein, kun elämässäsi oli paha kriisi?

Erään toisen kriisin aikaan taas Alanis Morrisetten You oughta know, Bon Jovin Always ja Bryan Adamsin Have you ever really loved a woman (rakkauselämän kriisi).

Lapseni oli saanut kehitysvammadiagnoosin ja siihen oli erittäin vaikea sopeutua. Siitäkin selvittiin, mutta voin yhä tuntea sen tuskan kun tuota laulua kuuntelen.

Varsinkin nyt, kun olen kokenut keskenmenon. Tuntuu, että kaikki hajoaa käsiin.

i' m tired of being what you want me to be

feeling so faithless

lost under the surface

i don' t know what you' re expecting of me

put under the pressure

of walking in your shoes

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that i take is another mistake to you



i' ve

become so numb

i can' t feel you there

become so tired

so much more aware

i' m becoming this

all i want to do

is be more like me

and be less like you



can' t you see that you' re smothering me

holding too tightly

afraid to lose control

cause everything that you thought i would be

has fallen apart right in front of you



[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that i take is another mistake to you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

and every second i waste is more than i can take



but i know

i may end up failing too

but i know

you were just like me

with someone disappointed in you

I know all there is to know, about the crying game

I' ve had my share of the crying game

First there are kisses

Then there are sighs

And then before you know where you are, you' re saying goodbye



One day soon, I' m gonna tell the moon, about the crying game

And if he knows, maybe he' ll explain

Why there are heartaches (Heartaches)

Why there are tears (So sad)

And what to do, to stop feeling blue, when love disappears



First there are kisses (Kisses)

Then there are sighs (So sad)

And then before, you know where you are, you' re saying goodbye



Don' t want no more, of the crying game (Don' t want no more)

Don' t want no more, of the crying game (Don' t want no more)

Don' t want no more, of the crying game (Don' t want no more)

Don' t want no more, of the crying game

Aaahhh

How long how long will I slide

Separate my side I don¿t

I don¿t believe it¿s bad

Slit my throat

It¿s all I ever

I heard your voice through a photograph

I thought it up it brought up the past

Once you know you can never go back

I¿ve got to take it on the otherside

koskettava sanoitus...

Hän ei enää hymyhuulin



uneen illan tullen sinua nyt suutele.



Hän ei enää toisten kuullen



hellin sanoin sua omaksensa suutele.



Sinä mietit, mistä johtuu,



että rakkaus on sellaiseksi muuttunut.



Sinä mietit jatkuvasti,



mitä yhteisistä hetkistä on puuttunut.







Ei se ole sydämestään kuule rakkautensa kauas voinut lähteä,



eikä ole kuule loistamassa hällä toista tähteä.



Sellaista se on nykyaika, ihmiseltä valtavasti vaativa.



Rakkautta rasittava aika, elämä vie liian paljon voimia.



Ei se ole sydämestään kuule rakkautensa kauas voinut lähteä,



eikä ole kuule loistamassa hällä toista tähteä.



Sellaista se on nykyaika, ihmiseltä valtavasti vaativa.



Rakkautta rasittava aika, elämä vie liian paljon voimia.



Vaatii suurta rakkautta,

että rantaan hehkuu jälleen kirkas aurinko,

että yöhön sieltä loistaa

suurin liekein kuuma kahden hengen nuotio.

Ethän anna ajan voittaa,

ethän onnestasi aio koskaan luopua.

Vielä joskus hänkin muistaa,

kuinka mahtavaa on tunteistansa juopua.

Silloin kun mulla on oikein paha olo, syvä kriisi, suru, en voi kuunnella mitään pop-musiikkia, jossa lauletaan elämästä ja tunteista... Kun olen surullinen kuuntelen klassista, Sibeliusta esim. Tai sitten oopperaa. Carmen, Tosca, Aida... Tai Tshaikovskin baletteja Joutsenlampi ja Pähkinänsärkijä. Ihanaa musiikkia, joka helpottaa oloa joka kerta!

Over the Forgotten sea

Voice of angel is calling for me

Somewhere, where the mountains collide

That' s where I' ll find my new life



I have carried this burden so long for you

that nothing but sorrow I feel

I have let myself believe

that nothing would hurt deeper than the truth



Never has the wind blown like thousand years ago

Everything that I' ve known has left me on my own

Never have I felt the rain fall down like the burning flames

All I see is the face of eternal wait



I hear your silent cry

lost in the rainy night

No reason to live for

one reason to die for



I am the one who has fallen into the path of shadows

(and that road never seems to end)

I am the one who has drowned into the river of tears

One night to be confused

One night to speed up truth

We had a promise made

Four hats and then away



Both under influence

We had demons in

To know what to say

Mine is a razorblade



To call for hands of above

To lean on

Wouldn' t be good enough

For me, no



One night of magic rush

The start of simple touch

One night to push and scream

And then relief



Ten days of perfect tunes

The colours red and blue

We had a promise made

We were in love



To call for hands of above

To lean on

Wouldn' t be good enough

For me, no



To call for hands of above

To lean on

Wouldn' t be good enough



And you

You knew that I had to fight devil

And you

Kept us away with wolfs teeth

Sharing different heartbeats

In one night



To call for hands of above

To lean on

Wouldn' t be good enough

For me, no



To call for hands of above

To lean on

Wouldn' t be good enough

Kappaleen nimi taitaa olla rakkauden haudalla.

I only meant to love you

Didn' t you know it babe

Didn' t you know it

Why couldn' t you be content

With the love I gave oh yeah

I gave you my heart

But you wanted my mind, oh yeah

Your love scares me to death, boy

Oh it' s the chokin kind

That' s all it is



You can kill a girl

With a bottle of poison or a knife

I know you can

I' ll hurt her more to take her pride

And run her life

Oh it' s a shame boy

Whatever it is boy

I surely hope you find, oh yeah

I tell you that hat don' t fit my head

Oh, it' s the chokin kind



It makes me wanna mmm mmm mmm mmm

Oh yeah, oh listen to me

When you fall in love again boy

Take a tip from me oh yeah

If you don' t like the peach, walk on by the tree

That' s what you better do, honey

Find what you want boy

Keep it, treat it, sweet and kind, oh yeah

Oh let it breathe, don' t make it the chokin kind

Oh no, don' t break your heart baby

Oh no, I know you love me really I do, honey

I tell you your love scares me to death boy

It' s the chokin kind

That' s all it is

I got to say it again

It' s that old chokin kind

heard there was a secret chord

that david played and it pleased the lord

but you don' t really care for music, do you

well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth

the minor fall and the major lift

the baffled king composing hallelujah



hallelujah...



well your faith was strong but you needed proof

you saw her bathing on the roof

her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

she tied you to her kitchen chair

she broke your throne and she cut your hair

and from your lips she drew the hallelujah



hallelujah...



baby i' ve been here before

i' ve seen this room and i' ve walked this floor

i used to live alone before i knew you

i' ve seen your flag on the marble arch

but love is not a victory march

it' s a cold and it' s a broken hallelujah



hallelujah...



well there was a time when you let me know

what' s really going on below

but now you never show that to me do you

but remember when i moved in you

and the holy dove was moving too

and every breath we drew was hallelujah



well, maybe there' s a god above

but all i' ve ever learned from love

was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you

it' s not a cry that you hear at night

it' s not somebody who' s seen the light

it' s a cold and it' s a broken hallelujah



hallelujah...

I stand alone in the darkness.

The winter of my life came so fast.

Memories go back to childhood.

To days I still recall.



Oh how happy I was then.

There was no sorrow,

there was no pain.

Walking trough the green fields,

sunshine in my eyes.



Im still there,everywhere,

Im the dust in the wind.

Im the star in the northern sky.

I never stayed enywhere,

Im the wind in the trees.

Would you wait for me

forever?

" Jos sä teet sen hirmutyön, valvon vuokses yhden yön.

Sitten olet vain ei kukaan, minua et ota mukaan,

annan anteeksi mut itseäni aion puolustaa,

sinut unohtaa.."



Tämä oli ystäväni tehtyä itsemurhan. Tosin unohdus ei ollut mahdollista.



Nyt kun menetin odottamani vauvan, kuuntelen jälleen Hectoria: " Kuunnellaan vain taivasta, se vaikkei vastaakaan. On nukahtanut Jumala, tai jatkaa luomistaan.."

Kuullessani Haaveet kaatuu-kappaleen mieleeni tulee aina 2kk poikani kuolema.

Vieläkin jostain hullusta syystä kaipaan ja näen ajoittain unia ko. poikakaverista vaikka oma mies ja perhettäkin jo on. Jäi kai suhteen päättyminen käsittelemättä, en vieläkään oikein tiedä miksi minut jätettiin...

ja sitten se, missä on welcome to my truth vai mites se menikään; en ole enää kestänyt kuunnella niitä vähään aikaan.



Miehellä oli suhde.

" Tää niitä aamuja on kun en tiedä,

kannattaako nousta vai jäädä.

Vetää peitto yli pään

ja hautautua alle kivisen kuoren..."



" Sade valuu vasten ikkunaa,

kyynel poskea pitkin.

Muistan kuinka pitkään itkin,

kun ilman sua jäin..."