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[At Bilbo' s 111th Birthday]

Merry: " Omg, I pwn"

Pippin: " Sif, I pwn"

**Rocket goes off

Gandalf: " Pwned!"



Bilbo: " This = shiz, bai foos"

Bilbo has left the server

Frodo: " ***!?"



[later, in Bag End]

Gandalf: " Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"

Bilbo: " Sif! It r precious!"

Gandalf: " STFU NOOB!!!"

Bilbo: " ok"

Gandalf has logged on as admin

Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire



**Later

Gandalf: " Show me teh ring, foo!"

**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back

Gandalf: " OMGZ, it R teh ring!"

Frodo: " ***?"

Gandalf has logged on as admin

Frodo has been kicked from The Shire

Sam has been kicked from The Shire



[At Isengard]

Gandalf: " sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"

Saruman: " Foo! U R teh noob!"

Gandalf: " ***?!"

Saruman: " Sauron pwns joo!"

Gandalf: " Sif, I R leet"

**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf

Saruman: " Pwned!"



[on the road to Bree]

Merry: " look foos, shrooms!"

Pippin: " Woot! Shrooms!"

Frodo: " Ph34r!"

Sam: " Shrooms!"

Frodo: " PH34R!1!1"

**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past

Frodo: " OMG, packetloss!"



[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]

**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips

Frodo has left the server

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: " OMGz, dc' d"

Aragorn: " OMG, noobz"



[at Weathertop]

Merry: " Mmm, shrooms!"

**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!

Frodo: " Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"



**the black riders attack

Merry: " OMG!!!"

Sam: " O.M.G!!!11"

Pippin: " ***"

Frodo has left the server

**head nazgul stabs Frodo' s ghost

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: " ***... hax!"

**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand

Aragorn: " PH34r!!!!!!"

Merry: " LOLOL flamed! "



[on the road to Rivendell]

Aragorn: " ZOMG!Arwen!"

**Arwen rides up

Aragorn: " A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"

Arwen: " Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"

Sam: " teh leet Hax0r "

Arwen: " Firewall?"



**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.

Arwen: " PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"

**nazgul start to cross

Arwen: " LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"

**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away

Warning: Connection Problems Detected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

Arwen: " Pwnt"



[at the Council of Elrond]

Gimli: " dwarves pwn!"

Legolas: " Sif, Elves pwn!"

Boromir: " OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"

Elrond: " STFU tards!!1!"

**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth

Gimili: " Sif ring pwns all!"

**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters

Elrond: " **sigh, noob"



[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]

Bilbo: " OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"

Frodo: " OMG, u r teh pwn!"

Bilbo: " Do u still have teh ringz0r?"

**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring

Bilbo: " OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"

Frodo: " sif!"

Bilbo: " ph34r my mithril"



[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]

**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains

Legolas: " ZOMG, leet gfx!"

Gimli: " I R dropping frames! FFS"

**There' s an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf

Gimli: " Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"

Gandalf: " **Sigh. Moria?"

Gimli votes to change map to Moria

Votes 4 of 4 required

Legolas: " lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"



[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]

Gandalf: " FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"

**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!

Frodo: " OMG! ph34r!"

Boromir: " GL HF"

Aragorn [broadsword] guardian

Legolas [arrow] guardian

Gandalf: " gg"



[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]

Gimli: " OMG!!!! PWNED!"



**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well

Gandalf: " teh bookz0r has some clues!"

**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well

Gandalf: " OMG! noob!"

Merry: " d' oh"

**The fellowship hears the ork drums

Boromir: " ***?"

Aragorn: " ***?"

Frodo: " ..."

Gandalf: " Oh ffs >.<"

**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come

Boromir: " TEAMS FFS!"

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Boromir [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

ork: " OMG! h4x!"

Gimli: " pwned" !

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas: " lol!!"

Boromir [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Gimli: " Foos!"

Legolas [arrow] ork

ork: " ffs, wallhax!"

**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors

Gandalf: " Oh ffs!"

Boromir: " Omg, its teh boss!"

Aragorn: " Sif noob, we' re not at teh end yet!"

**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo

Sam: " OMG!"

Gandalf: " OMG!"

Aragorn: " omg, pwn!"

**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head

Legolas [arrow] cavetroll

Ork: " OMG! PWNED!"

Gimli: " LOLOOLOL! noobs"

**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks

Boromir: " FFS! Teams, foos!"

**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw

Aragorn: " Now THIS is teh boss!"

Gandalf: " OMG!"

**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.

Legolas: " LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

ork: " AIMBOT!"

ork: " turn it off!"

Legolas: " lolol!"

**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog

Gandalf: " joo shall not pass!"

Balrog: " ***?"

Gandalf: " JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"

Balrog: " Sif, noob"

**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog' s weight

Balrog: " ZOMG! PWNED!"

Frodo: " OMG! Gandalf!"

**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf

Gandalf: " D' oh"

Frodo: " OMG, joo foo!"

Gandalf: " fly u foos, fly!"

**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass

Gandalf has left the server

Balrog has disconnected



[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]

**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel

Galadriel: " For a noob, u r teh leet!"

Frodo: " Sif. I don' t want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"

Galadriel: " ******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"



[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]

Saurman: " ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"

uruk hai: " leet!"



[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]

**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him

Boromir: " Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"

Frodo: " Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"

Boromir: " Naw, we play on non-pb servers"

Frodo: " STFU noob"

Frodo has left the server

Boromir: " ***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"



**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir

Boromir: " OH FFS, TEAMS!!"

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Boromir: " ****ing campers"

**Aragorn comes across the battle

Aragorn: " Boromir joo noob! ***!"

Uruk Hai: " Hah, pwn!"

Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai

Aragorn: " I bring joo teh pwn!"

**Aragorn goes to Boromir

Boromir: " Damn lag!"

Warning: Connection problems detected

Boromir has disconnected

Aragorn: " FFS!"



[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam ' sees' him]

Sam: " Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: " Sam, STFU and FOAD!"

Sam: " Sif!"

Frodo: " Oh, ffs n00b!"



3Nd!!!!11