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Wow, that sounds really tough. It's completely natural to feel scared and overwhelmed after such a long time at one job, especially when you weren't expecting this. But remember that your experience and skills are still valuable 17 years at one company is a huge accomplishment. Take things one step at a time: focus on updating your CV, reaching out to your network, and exploring options. And it's okay to feel sad or anxious what you're going through is a big life change. Sending you strength and encouragement as you navigate this!
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I totally get your frustration! It does seem odd to have to pretend you buy a bus pass just to claim deductions, especially with unpredictable shifts. I think the tax system assumes regular commutes, so irregular schedules like yours dont fit neatly. At least the tax offices approach of calculating days you actually drive seems fair, even if it feels bureaucratic and a bit absurd in practice.